


Alone

by Nemesis (ThetaSigma), ThetaSigma



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Deathfic, Established Relationship, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/Nemesis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/ThetaSigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fin doesn't know how to go on without John. Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5798542">When This Steel Trap Begins To Rust</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

It had been two months since John shot himself. Fin understood why he did it, but it still hurt like a knifewound in his heart daily. People told him to hang on, that it would get better, but it didn’t. He visited John’s grave daily, the only time it felt a little better. The apartment was too quiet without John around.

Nightly, Fin lay down and automatically reached for John, then sighed and curled into a ball on his side of the bed. He woke up in the morning with the bed cold and fought tears – they’d lived together for so, so many years.

He was at John’s grave again, alone. His family – three grandchildren, and he rather suspected a great-grandchild, soon – had been there for him, but they had their own lives, young lives, to be getting on with and Fin didn’t want to be a burden. He was physically fine, just grieving. He’d had a check-up this morning, and the doctor seemed confident he’d live for many years still.

The proposition was a sour one without John. He loved John so deeply, so much, that surviving without him was excruciating. What did he have to look forward to, at his age? Without his husband by his side, the way it was meant to be?

The note was tucked in his pocket. He could’ve done this at home, but Fin wanted to be near John when he did it. He didn’t believe in heaven or hell – neither did John – so it wasn’t like he was looking for a reunion. Just for the pain to end finally. He looked around; the cemetery was empty.

He bent down and traced John’s name on the tombstone one last time. There was room there for one more name.

Fin pulled his gun out and brought it to his head. “John, I love you,” he whispered to the grave. He squeezed the trigger.


End file.
